How to Get What You Want in Life: Be the Type of Person Who Sees the Opportunity, Not the Obstacle
I’m sitting here in terminal 2 of London’s Heathrow Airport, awaiting my connecting flight and contemplating how nice it is to have a sense of “normality” again. Even just a little change can make a big difference in life.
Now, when it comes to business and traffic, Heathrow is a shadow of its former self, but nevertheless, we’re finally able to travel overseas again. And while the long queues, security checks, jet leg, and rushed rhythm of the airport can be overwhelming, I find it all worthwhile because of that one single moment I look forward to when I’m on the plane: To recede into my window seat and gaze out to at the sun shining bright, over a bed of fluffy white clouds, in a crisp and clear blue sky.
It reminds me that no matter how cloudy and grim life can be, the sun is always—always—shining somewhere up above. To me, that serves as hope—a gesture, if you will—that our sole responsibility in life is not to try and change the weather around us, but to go after what we want with the knowledge and belief that if we keep trying, we will reach the light.
Unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way, because there are two types of people in this world:
There are the people who know what they want, see the opportunity and go for it, even when the odds are not in their favor. Then there are the people who only see the obstacles that stand in the way of what they want. And it’s only the former who go on to achieve great success in life.
And speaking of travel, success, and opportunity, have you not heard the story of Amelia Earhart?
The Story of Amelia Earhart
Amelia Earhart had always wanted to make a living as an aviator, but the era in which she lived was not on her side. In the 1920s, flying transatlantic flights was presumed to be too stressful and terrifying for the female sex. And while she was already skilled at piloting and had her license for a few years, she couldn’t make a living as an aviator, so she took a job as a social worker.
Until, one day, the phone rang.
On the other end was a man with a proposition.
As Ryan Holiday worded it in The Obstacle is The Way: “We have someone willing to fund the first female transatlantic flight. Our first choice has already backed out. You won’t get to actually fly the plane, and we’re going to send two men along as chaperones, and guess what, we’ll pay them a lot of money and you won’t get anything.”
Amelia accepted the offer.
Yes, it was insulting. And yes, it wasn’t ideal. But, that was secondary to what mattered most: Moving an inch closer to realizing her dream of becoming the first woman to fly over the ocean.
And that’s the thing about ordinary people who go on to achieve extraordinary things—they start. Anywhere, anyhow, and however they can. They know what they want, they see the opportunity to get it, and they go for it, even if the conditions aren’t ideal and the odds are stacked against them.
Less than five years later, Amelia Earhart made history by becoming the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic. She knew what she wanted, she saw the opportunity, and she went for it.
Simon Sinek’s First Rule of Success: Go After The Things That You Want
In a talk entitled “5 Rules to Follow to Find Your Spark,” Simon Sinek shared his first rule to success: Go after the things that you want.
He told a personal story that led him to a major realization in life:
“There are two ways to see the world. Some people see the thing that they want, and some people see the thing that prevents them from getting the thing that they want."
— Simon Sinek
A few years ago, he and his friend had participated in a charity race in New York City’s Central Park. When they got to the end of the run, there was a large picnic table set-up. On one side were the volunteers, on the table were boxes of free bagels, and on the other side of the line, there was a long line of runners waiting to get a free bagel. So Simon looked at his friend and said, “let’s get a free bagel.”
His friend replied, “the line is too long.”
Simon insisted, “it’s a free bagel!”
And his friend shrugged, “but the line is too long and I don’t want to wait.”
Do you see the difference?
Simon Sinek could only see the bagels—what he wanted.
His friends could only see the line—what was preventing him from getting what he wanted.
So Simon walked up to the front of the line, he leaned in between two people, put his hand in the box, and pulled out two bagels. He got what he wanted. He sacrificed choice—he wasn’t able to choose which bagel he wanted, but, he got what he wanted: A free bagel.
Did he break any rules? Not necessarily—he gave up the choice of selection, in order to get whatever he can. In return, he got what he wanted at a fraction of the time. As he goes on to explain:
“The rule is you can go after whatever you want. You just cannot deny anyone else to go after what they want.”
And Sometimes, If You Don’t Ask For What You Want, The Answer Will Always Be “No”
Let me tell you one more story—a favorite travel story of mine.
It was September 2014, and I was with four friends in Monaco. We weren’t expecting much, just a day trip from Nice, sight-seeing, buying souvenirs, dining, and heading back to call it a night; but earlier that morning, we found out that The Monaco Yacht Show was taking place.
This piqued my interest and I instantly wanted to see if we could get in. So I walked up to the ticket booth and inquired about ticket prices; they were over 400 euros each! (And we were on a shoestring student backpacking budget, so yeah, definitely not a price we were willing to pay).
Later that night, at around 8.00 pm, as we were making our way back to the train station, we passed two overlapping fences with a small gap in between. This gap had been attended by a security guard during the day, but for some reason, at this very moment, he wasn’t standing there.
So I stopped, turned, and faced the gap. This is our way into The Yacht Show, I thought. I looked at my friends and said: “Guys, this is our way in.” They looked at me and said: “But wait, what if we get caught?”
I insisted, “Guys, would you look at this! This is our way to get into the Yacht Show! There’s no guard! So let’s go in! Worst case someone stops us and kicks us out! And what’s the big deal in that? There’s no one, right now, so let’s go in!”
And my friends shrugged, “but we might get caught!”
As Simon Sinek said: “Some people see the thing that they want, and some people see the thing that prevents them from getting the thing that they want."
I could only see the free entry into the Yacht Show.
My friends could only see the chance of getting caught.
Impulsively, I walked in.
Five minutes later, my friends followed.
We were in.
No ticket, no bracelet, nothing.
But, wait, the story gets even better.
After blending into the crowds of people dancing and drinking, we walked across to the end dock where the multi-million-dollar four-story yachts were anchored. Each yacht hosted a private party, and each had two bodyguards and a hostess holding onto a VIP list.
We kept walking, circling back and forth, trying to ‘fit in’. We had no idea how we were going to get into one of those yacht parties.
Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes passed by…
And then, almost instinctively, I walked up to a guest on the deck of the four-story luxury yacht named Red-Squared, and, with all the confidence I could muster, I asked: “Hey, is this an invite-only party? Or can my friends and I come in?” She looked at me, gave me a stare from top to bottom, smirked, and said:
“It’s invite-only…. but sure, you can come in.”
So she waved to the hostess to let us in.
She knew we had sneaked in. After all, we did look like four poor students without a penny in our pockets. But we had dared to ask—and she was kind, generous, and daring enough to say yes.
We played our little game—didn’t break any rules, harm anyone, or get in anyone’s way—and she raised us another.
There we were, four 24-year old backpackers, partying on a $200,000,000 luxury yacht all because we dared to take a risk and ask a question—all because we knew what we wanted and chose to step into the opportunity rather than be held back by the perceived obstacle.
That night would’ve cost us 1,600 euros, instead, it cost us nothing, but gave us a priceless memory we could never forget… all thanks to the courage to see an opportunity for what it was, take action on it, and ask a question to get what we wanted.
Whether You See The Opportunity or The Obstacle, The Choice is Yours, But To Get What You Want, You Must Take Action
So what’s the point of all three stories you ask?
Well, here’s what I want you to realize:
Life is generous and it will always gift you with an opportunity to get what you want. What stops you from attaining it, is you. First, your perspective: Are you seeing the opportunity or the obstacle? Second, your action: Will you walk through that door or not?
Will you take up the job offer or not?
Will you find a way to get a bagel or not?
Will you walk through that gate and ask for what you want or not?
Will you summon the courage to get uncomfortable and take action or not?
In The Obstacle is The Way, Ryan Holiday writes:
“We talk a lot about courage as a society, but we forget that at its most basic level it’s really just taking action… Just as Earhart did, all the greats you admire started by saying, Yes, let’s go. And they usually did it in less desirable circumstances than we’ll ever suffer.”
Amelia’s circumstances were not ideal. She had to overcome gender bias, financial difficulty, and a steep learning curve to get what she wanted.
What’s stopping you?
Say Yes, and “Always Think With Your Stick Forward”
On the side of the plane she flew across the Atlantic, Amelia Earhart painted these six words:
“Always Think With Your Stick Forward”
The idea from a pilot’s perspective? Maintain your speed or you’re going to crash. The idea from a life perspective? Keep moving forward, always.
As humans, our limbic brains were wired to keep us comfortable. It’s the main reason why we procrastinate and choose comfort over discomfort. It’s the reason why we see the long line, and not the free bagel, or the chance of getting caught instead of the opportunity to get into an event for free. It’s the reason we often wait too long to take action and why we can always create excuses to wait until the next day or week to start. And as we both know, excuses are fabricated illusions we create to rationalize our behaviors when we’re too afraid to go after what we really want.
So here’s the deal:
At any crossroads in life, always ask yourself this question: “Am I seeing this as an opportunity or an obstacle?”
Keep moving forward in life because movement equals action, and action breeds clarity and builds momentum—action is what ignites change, and consistent action is what sustains it.
Vincent Van Gogh once wrote:
“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?”
I think it would be bland and boring—we’d have no good stories to tell. If we had no courage to attempt anything, life would be meaningless.
So stop making excuses and start feeding your courage instead.
Stop wasting your life away because you’re too afraid to try and go after the things you want. Instead, take a chance. Because who knows, maybe it will lead you to your dream vocation. Maybe it will get you a free bagel. Or maybe, just maybe, it might guide you to an unexpected party on a fancy yacht in Monaco.